


Somebody else

by screamtobeheard



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, M/M, Moving Out, like big time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-09
Updated: 2016-05-09
Packaged: 2018-06-07 11:10:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6801319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/screamtobeheard/pseuds/screamtobeheard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I shouldn’t be upset about it right?” Dan wonders out loud. Louise looks up.<br/>“Well if you are, that’s alright. It’s always a little tough you know?” He does know, but a little tough is not how he would describe it. <br/>“Have you stalked her yet? To see if she’s ugly?” Louise asks</p><p>Or a post break up fic</p>
            </blockquote>





	Somebody else

**Author's Note:**

> Listen to somebody else by the 1975 if you wanna be sad

They used to waste all their time watching anime on the couch together. Phil would be tired and his eyes would often close but he always stayed with Dan. It was something adorable. Something they used to do.

Who says you can’t be friends with your ex? Let alone live with them? Well probably everybody. But when would Dan ever listen to that? It’s been a month or two since he and Phil broke up, and he’s doing fine, honestly. (He’s not, but let’s get to that later.)

The first few nights were the worst. He spent most of his nights pressed up against Phil’s back, in Phil’s bed. With blankets that smelled like Phil. The first night, he had stumbled into his own room, with red eyes while he could hear Phil’s quiet little sniffles. It was awful. But he likes tot think he’s over it now. A few weeks ago, it was their anniversary. Dan didn’t mention it, didn’t dare to think about it.

But when he did, he didn’t feel sad. That thought was worse than all of them. Did Phil think about it? Had he forgotten already? Don’t think about it. And so things had moved on. Phil didn’t come home that often. Dan didn’t like to be home much either. 

Neither of them talked about it. Isn’t it better not to talk about a break up anyways? It was Dan who did it, he’s sure wouldn’t want to hear about it to begin with. Phil seems to be okay. He still hums happy songs and still steals Dan’s cereal. There aren’t that many things that have changed, except their romance is gone. Completely. 

“I’m going out tonight. Will you be okay for dinner?” Phil asks him one night. He’s dressed up pretty nice and Dan tries to not let mind wander. Why’s he so dressed up anyways? Where’s he going? It’s not something he has to know anymore; he doesn’t ask.  
“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Don’t worry!” he tries to convince himself too. Phil smiles at him, all cute as always.   
“Alright, see you,” he says and he’s gone. Dan stares at the empty room for a second. He should go out too. Maybe he’d meet someone new, forget about Phil. But he stays in his room the whole night, and he does not forget about Phil.

Many relationships don’t last, and that’s fine. Because he’s young and he’ll find someone else, right? Even if it turns out to be one big mistake, Life isn’t a Nicolas sparks’ movie. One break up will not ruin his life. 

They’re eating breakfast together. Both sitting on each side of the table. Phil still tells him his dreams while he drinks coffee and Dan still rants about everything. They’re still friends, as they always will be.  
“Dan, I need to tell you something,” Phil starts. Dan doesn’t try to seem shocked at the use of his name or Phil’s statement. There are two thoughts going through his head: 1. Oh no, he’s moving out. 2. He has someone else. Which one would be worse?   
“I recently started seeing someone. And she’s really nice and all. And before we move on into something serious, I wanted you to know. Because that seemed right.”

Dan doesn’t know what to say. What do you say when it feels like your heart has just been shattered it to pieces and it feels like you have no right to be sad about it at all?  
“That’s great,” he forces out.  
“I’m happy for you,” he says. Is it a lie? He wants to be happy for him, but is he? Phil looks relieved.  
“Thank you, that means a lot to me,” Phil says genuinely. Dan tries to smile but it’s forced, like everything feels right now. Dan starts connecting the dots.

The fancy clothes, the awfully happy music blasting around the house all the time, how dreamy Phil had looked all the time. He might cry. But he won’t, not in front of Phil anyways. So he tells him he’s taking a shower. And it’s when he’s in the shower, thinking about Phil having moved on from him, that he breaks down. 

Louise’s laying on his bed next to him. Dan’s browsing through Tumblr. He used to do this all the time with Phil, he thinks. But it’s different now, with Louise. Because she’s not him, you idiot, he thinks to himself.  
“I shouldn’t be upset about it right?” Dan wonders out loud. Louise looks up.  
“Well if you are, that’s alright. It’s always a little tough you know?” He does know, but a little tough is not how he would describe it.   
“Have you stalked her yet? To see if she’s ugly?” Louise asks. Dan doesn’t care if she’s pretty or ugly. He doesn’t care about who this girl is anyway. It’s the fact that there’s one to begin with.

Dan’s making eggs when Phil passes him in the kitchen. He’s wearing his glasses and his hair is messy. Dan stares at it for a little too long. That’s how he sees the hickey on his neck. He drops the fork he was holding and it lands on the ground with a loud noise in the quiet room. Phil looks up at Dan.  
“You alright?” he asks. Like nothing could be wrong. Dan nods quickly. He’s completely fine! Why break up with someone if you can’t handle seeing him with someone else?

He started stalking her. Sadly, she’s not ugly like Louise had said. In fact, she’s beautiful and seems like a very nice person. Phil and her would be great together. Maybe this is what was supposed to happen. Maybe Phil and he were never supposed to last and Dan breaking up with him was the first good thing he’s done in a while. The thought makes him feel sick. He’s been playing the 1975 on loop. Because what better way to get over your feelings then to listen to depressing songs about them. Somebody else is a little too accurate and it has him crying. He wants to tell someone. He wants to tell them how this song is so true it could be written by him and how it sums up everything he’s feeling. He wants to tell them, while he’s crying and they tell him reassuring words. But he doesn’t want just someone, he wants Phil of all people. And so he doesn’t talk about it.

They have a date tonight, which leaves the apartment cold and alone for the night. Dan’s watching Netflix with a blanket on the couch. He could have someone here too if he wanted to. He hadn’t kissed anyone since Phil. He hadn’t had feelings for anyone since Phil. He can’t picture having them. He lets his mind go to Phil. Maybe they’ll go to the Italian place Dan and he always used to go. Or maybe they’d go places Dan would never go and Phil had always been dying to try. Either way, it wasn’t his place to worry about this stuff, if it made Phil happy, then it was fine. 

“Do you regret it?” Louise asks him one night. Dan thinks about it.  
“I don’t think so. Not about breaking up with Phil. It wasn’t supposed to work. So it’s probably better like this.”  
“Then what’s wrong?”  
“I still love him, I guess.”

Dan’s drunk, he’s so drunk he can’t find his keys and he’s pretty sure he lost them too. He bangs on the door as hard as he can to get Phil to open the door. It has got to be around 3 am. Maybe he wouldn’t be awake and Dan would have to sleep outside. Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad after all. But Phil opens the door and Dan stumbles inside, nearly tripping. Phil holds him up and closes the door. He has his hands under Dan’s arms, firmly but gentle as always. Those hands still probably know what to do. They probably still know how to touch him. They still know how to hold him, how to brush his hair out of his face, how to tickle him. Dan makes a choked noise as tears begin to spill.

“Hey, you alright? Come on, I’ll bring you to bed,” Phil murmurs to him. Bring me to your bed, Dan thinks. Sleep with me and forget about her. Hold me, make me feel better, you’re the only one who knows how. But Phil brings him to his own bed and in his own pillow he cries that night. 

It’s official, he’s become the crazy ex who cares too much about everything his ex does. But how can he not? That boy has been his sun for at least 2 years. How can that all go away so quickly. How has Phil managed that? Does he still think about him?

He feels a stab of pain when he sees her outside their apartment. He sees Phil pull her in for a kiss with a hand on her cheek and the other on her waist. He sees her running her hand through his hair. It hurts. You deserve this, he thinks. You deserve all of this. You hurt him too after all. 

Maybe that’s what hurts him. He was the one to break up. It was his choice to begin with. But now Phil’s moved on. Now it’s his choice. 

He grabs his stuff on a Sunday. Phil’s watching television when Dan stops with his suitcase in hand. Phil immediately sits up with wide eyes.  
“What are you doing?”  
“I’m moving out,” he says with a forced smile. Phil can’t honestly believe it’s real, right?  
“What? Why? Where are you going?” Dan shrugs.  
“I don’t know yet. Maybe I’ll leave London.” Phil keeps staring at him, with a frown on his face.  
“Can’t you stay here?” It’s a question to be polite, Dan knows. Maybe she will take Dan’s place in this apartment soon.  
“I can’t do this anymore. It’s not good for me. Or any of us.”

Phil frown deepens.  
“Says you.”  
“Well yeah, because if I feel like shit here it’s not going to work, is it?” Phil looks like Dan’s slapped him  
“I’m sorry.” I am too, Dan thinks. But he shakes his head, fake smiles again.  
“Don’t be. You have nothing to be sorry for.” Phil’s eyes seem to have filled with tears.  
“I’ll miss you,” he confesses. Dan bites his lip, stares at the ground.  
“I’m sure you’ll get over it.” Phil nods. He stands up.  
“Well if it makes you happy..” It doesn’t, he doubts any of this will make him feel happy ever again.  
“Are you? Happy?” Dan asks. Phil nods. That’s when Dan can’t stop the tears.

A little sob escapes him and Phil looks at him sadly. He doesn’t move to comfort him.  
“That’s good. I’m happy you’re happy. You deserve this, Phil.” Phil nods at him.  
He helps him get his stuff and for the first time in weeks Dan’s sure Phil feels the break up tension again. 

When Dan’s in a taxi, he finally thinks again. He looks at the apartment. He thinks about Phil. You won’t ever get this back. You won’t ever try, Phil deserves this. And so he lets him go, at least he tries to.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello,  
> This fic is inspired by somebody else and my life.  
> It doesn't have a happy ending, which is a first for me but I hope you enjoyed it either way.
> 
> This will be the last break up thing I'm writing ever againnnn.
> 
> Love xx


End file.
